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  • 執筆者の写真MAL

An agonizing process





捨てられるものの全てを捨て、死にも似た感覚の中で自分と向き合い、全てを受け入れた… という人生最大の経験以降は、表出するという感覚そのものがよくわからなくなっている様な気もします。









記事 : Photographer MAL / 丸本祐佐

【An agonizing process】

For several decades now, I have been struggling with the fact that I have not been able to capture work that comes close to "expression".

Of course, in my portrait work, I am able to incorporate my life experiences into a performance that is uniquely my own, but I have not been able to produce the kind of work that I used to take when I was younger, work that is honestly expressed outside of my so-called work.

I would like to take photographs that show my "expression" at my age of 56, but I am still searching for a subject that I can express myself in.

Before that,

After the greatest experience of my life, in which I threw away everything I could throw away, faced myself in a death-like state, and accepted everything... I feel as if I have lost the very sense of expression.

For some time now, I have had a vague image that I would like to express the beauty of suffering in portraits or still life.

This is also an expression of the fact that I myself am in this situation in real time, and I am now struggling so hard that I want to scream as I face the hurdles of the not-so-easy choice of subjects and the high quality I demand of my own work.

My concept as a photographer and as a person

[Existence recognition].

The answer you want is in that one picture.

As one who is on the side of transmitting these words, as one who knows and develops the theory, and as one who offers portraits, I now believe that I have an obligation to dare to depict my own answer in my own portraits.

I wish I could visualize the "anguish" in the "expression" of the here and now that I am facing and struggling with in real time, using the technique of photography...

I think it will take some time to describe the answer in that one picture.

Article: Photographer MAL / YUSUKE Marumoto


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